Nothing is heavier
than the loads of expectations. The load not only gives an everlasting pain
inside your head but also an incurable ache to your conscience. The biggest
problem with the load of expectation is its ever increasing nature. Loads of
expectations never decrease. The more you fulfill the expectations, the more
they increase and that too fiercely. It doesn’t matter whether your skills grow
in that ratio or not, expectations keep increasing time by time and
simultaneously your worth also decreases. When you start fulfilling the
expectations, you don’t understand that your worth and value had already been
crushed or forgotten. The expectations increase only when you are taken for
granted… You are taken for granted and are expected to fulfill the expectations
without any sign of a sigh and when you try to give them a sense of your worth,
you are likely to be termed arrogant or haughty. You can also be termed
careless, irresponsible or attention seeker. There also comes a pathetic
situation when you crush all your dreams, desires, hopes and all the peace and
tranquility of your mind and heart to fulfill the expectations and even after
that, you are questioned back, “What have you done for us….?”
The pain of being a
victim of expectations gradually makes you aware of the very little
expectations you have from others, yes the same ones who never think twice
before accusing you for being careless for not fulfilling their expectations. You
start feeling that expectations you have from others, might also be giving them
the same pain. You withdraw your expectations gradually. You start finding
bliss in giving only, never expecting anything in return… not even a word of
praise or gratefulness…. You disconnect yourself from others…. The presence of
your mind is felt in the world but the peace of your mind keeps wandering
restlessly…. You know and understand that the world remembers you only for your
utility…. But still you find that after your countless efforts of fulfilling
the expectations, you are unable to please others…. Then, you withdraw yourself
inside your shell…. You draw a circumference around your shell, never allowing
anybody to cross that…. You feel happy
inside…. You discover your bliss…
You make the shell
rock hard protecting yourself inside, so that even if anybody crosses your
circumference and comes closer, you could be termed arrogant and rude being
inside the shell and never coming out. But you don’t care because you know that
the one who crossed the circumference and cursed you for not coming out the
shell, had his own expectations…. But bearing the curses you feel happy inside
because you know that you have already expectations to fulfill and you know
that nobody is going to cross the circumference with a desire to give instead of
a desire to take… and nobody has the genuine guts to break the shell and take
you out… before you rot inside….
